Mental health

From Toxic to Charismatic : How to Stop Being a Toxic Person.

How to stop being a toxic person

It’s 2022, nobody, absolutely no one, wants to be around a toxic person. Being toxic is so 1980!
Life is hard enough and the least you can do, is to be patient and kind with anyone you come in contact with.


Being toxic has no perks, it’s distasteful, exhausting and draining. If you are guilty of being a toxic person whether in your relationship or in your workplace, it’s time to have a re-think, and a mindset shift. This year, commit to stop being a toxic person, so that the people around you can enjoy having you in their space.


A toxic person is anyone who tends to stir up a lot of trouble anywhere they go! They have various negative traits that make others around them feel sad and depressed. Anyone who says belittling words, talks people down, is abusive, manipulative, controlling, rude and judgmental is toxic.


If your words tear people down rather than build people up, if you gossip about people around you, pick fights easily, and show no compassion for people in need. You are definitely being a toxic person, and it would be wise to change. Here are some tips on how to stop being a toxic person.


Traits of a toxic person

  • Controlling
  • Abusive
  • Disrespectful
  • Judgmental
  • Cynic
  • Constant criticism
  • Narcissistic
  • Manipulative



How to Stop Being a Toxic Person

How to stop being a toxic person

Become self-aware

Recognize and acknowledge that you are a toxic person. Your journey towards becoming a better person starts with the realization that you are toxic. And you must be willing to change and start treating people right. This realization is the first step in the right direction. Develop self-awareness, being self-aware is simply paying attention to the things that bother people about you, being able to look at yourself objectively.


It involves constant self-reflection, personal evaluation, and daily meditation. Identify your strength and weaknesses, map out your plans and priorities, these and more are essential steps that you need to take, in order to become more self-aware. Once you become more self-aware, it becomes a lot easier to manage your emotions, and your actions, and also understand how other people perceive you. This will in turn help you realize when you’re being toxic, and when you’re not.



Be compassionate

When you begin to see people through the lens of love, it becomes a lot easier to treat people right. In a world as hazardous and trouble laden as this, people are constantly struggling with one burden or the other, a lot of people have financial crisis, some have health challenges, and others have emotional issues, the least you can do, is to be kind and gentle with your words. It costs absolutely nothing to do this. compassion can be shown even in the smallest gestures that we express when we come in contact with people on a day-to-day basis. A simple handshake, a warm embrace, a smile, a pat on the back, and kind words are all simple gestures that go a long way in improving how people feel.



Be Empathic

In order to stop being toxic, you must learn and cultivate the habit of being emphatic. Empathy is simply putting yourself in other people shoes. It easier not to judge people so harshly when you see the similarities in your struggles and weaknesses rather than the differences. Develop curiosity about people. Curiosity leads to discovery, and discovery to knowledge and understanding. Socialize, get to meet new people and learn things about them. For instance, if you have friends who have health challenges or any other form of issues, learn to empathize with them. When you communicate and interact with people, try to put yourself on the receiving end of your words and see if you can take what you’re releasing.




Talk to a therapist

No one wants to be tolerated, every single one of us want to be celebrated, loved and appreciated. And this is only possible if we show kindness and compassion. Unfortunately, due to some bad and negative experience some people may have had either at childhood or in the course of a relationship, so being loving and kind may not come so easy for them. This is especially true with people from broken homes, victims of rape, victims of domestic violence and people who may have suffered unduly. If this describes you, then its best to seek the help of a therapist. Talk to a professional about how you feel, and how you feel about others.




How to stop being toxic in a relationship.

How to stop being a toxic person


Toxicity is prevalent in relationships. A lot of people are in very unhealthy relationships that has done more harm to them than good. A good relationship ought to serve as a safe haven, a place where you go to seek solace and hear encouraging words after dealing with the daily struggles of life.


A good relationship would build you up, and not tear you down, it would not constantly remind you of your weaknesses or shortcomings, rather it should encourage and support you to become the best version of yourself. If you are currently in a relationship where you are being victimized, you need to come out of it right away.


Be patient enough to wait for the right person who would treat you the way you deserve to be treated. If on the other and you are the partner who is being toxic, you need to realize that you are being a toxic person and a bad influence, and do whatever you can to stop being this way. Here are a few tips to help you out.



How do I stop being a toxic person in a relationship? How do I stop being a toxic person

Understand the purpose of your relationship

One of the major reasons why people get into a relationship and start acting funny is because they do not define their relationships. A lot of people just date for fun with no major goal or purpose in mind. When the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable. This is the same for relationships, when a relationship is clearly defined, it makes dating more fun and productive, and it reduces the chances of abuse or misuse. The purpose of a relationship could range from marriage to the fulfilment of a purpose or a mission.




Realize that Your partner is not your enemy

At some point in a relationship when the excitement begins to fade, a lot of people tend to start seeing their partners as an enemy or a burden they need to do away with. This is quite sad, but it happens. At this stage of the relationship its important to communicate more, and to act maturely. Love is more than a feeling, and you don’t show kindness to your partner only when you feel like you love them. Even on the days when they are sick, broke or hurting you need to be loving and supportive. These and more are some of the reasons why people become toxic in a relationship.




Shared values

Being with a person who you share similar values and principles with, makes relationship a lot easier and more seamless. The truth is, there’s really no reason to be toxic in a relationship, and no excuse would suffice as the reason why a person is being toxic, however, in order to create a perfect environment for a relationship to thrive, and in order to have a loving and long-lasting relationship, pitch your tent with someone who values the things you value. Some shared values could be love for people, love for God, similar work principles and ethics, love for family amongst other things.




Being a toxic person in a relationship, or being a toxic person in life generally, is bad and very condemnable. If you have come to the realization that you have been toxic or are currently being toxic and you’re wondering “how do I stop being toxic” I hope these tips can help you. Take baby steps because it takes time to change a habit, commit to becoming better and watch yourself evolve into a loving and compassionate person.

How to stop being a toxic person

Hy I'm iffy!! A chronic worshiper with a DIY spirit! After a near death experience I started my journey to living a more purposeful life.


  • Christine

    “Being toxic is so 1980.” I love it!!! I’m not sure if I can change a toxic person, but I am smart enough to identify toxic people and stay away from them. I have zero tolerance for toxic people and choose not to surround myself with those kinds of people. Toxic people are not my people. I can say I have fewer people in my life because of that.

  • Beth

    I think this is an absolutely amazing resource! So many people are toxic and they don’t even know it. They don’t mean to be, they just don’t have the tools to be any other way.

  • Stephanie

    I always hear people talking about getting out of toxic relationships and away from toxic people, but this is the first I’ve heard of a resource for recognizing it in yourself. It’s so important to know how you treat others and it may be easy to slip into these bad habits without realizing it if you aren’t self-aware.

  • Escape Lounge

    Being a toxic person benefits no one. I also agree with your statement “commit to becoming better and watch yourself evolve into a loving and compassionate person.” We all have it in us to be a better person, we just have to see it through.

  • Bryan

    Some people are toxic and are not even aware of it. I know some who claim they are being sarcastic with their negativity and they ‘don’t really mean what they say’. But too much sarcasm is bad and definitely toxic.

  • Glamor Medical

    Great post! It can be easy to get caught up in drama and toxicity, especially in a relationship. It is important to take a step back and observe how you are treating others and making the people around you feel. Therapy definitely has helped me!

  • Marysa

    I have been through a lot of toxic situations in my life, and it is always good to take a step back and make sure I am not getting sucked into these toxic habits. I think a lot of people should work on being better listeners and more empathetic.

  • Shilpa Bindlish

    I appreciate you writing on a beautiful topic. It’s really important to be a positive person and not toxic one.

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